Most of my life has been spent believing that I’m not creative or very good at things that I wish I could do. I’ve never been able to grasp the concept of drawing, painting, sewing, or cooking. I have always wanted to play the guitar, but lack the patience to truly sit with it and be a beginner.
Perhaps I haven’t allowed patience to come to the table and offer her wisdom. I’d rather reach “expert” status the first day.
I was so afraid of changing career paths. When I returned to the states, I contemplated the possibility of getting my nursing license again. Everything within my being cringed and rebelled at the idea. I felt sick to my stomach, yet kept telling myself that it was the logical, rational, responsible thing to do. I even went for an interview as a medical assistant, hoping to get my foot back in the door of the western medical world.
That didn’t work out. (Oh, thank goodness!)
Sometimes, the logical thing is just not the path that we’re meant to take. My heart flutters at the sight of soft blooms and sweet, wild fragrance. I delight in seeing people light up when receiving a posy of delicate stems and love notes. My mind keeps telling me that my “lack of creativity” will always hold me back from being a good designer.
As I was walking along the dirt road that leads to our home, I noticed the new varieties of wildflowers sprouting up everywhere. Shades of purple, yellow, and white covered the forest, with scents that could never be replicated by the hands of man. I found myself struggling to remember the names of each flower. Then I remembered the words of Eckhart Tolle, who reminds us to just be with the flower, rather than attempting to name it or label it in any way. I smiled, bent down to appreciate the texture and scent of each bloom, as I let go of the need to identify it as anything other than the simple, miraculous presence that it is.
As I paused to allow the essence of the blossoms to fill my heart, I realized that I’ve been my own greatest obstacle. I don’t have to be creative or an artist to offer love to the world. Every bouquet I create comes from love. Could it possibly be enough to simply remember that it’s the energy and intention that matters most?
Changing careers was a major leap into the realm of the unknown. I’ve always been a deep listener to my intuitive voice. Something tells me that there is so much magic unfolding on this uncharted course.
If you’ve ever doubted yourself or allowed fear of the unknown to hold you back from leaping into something that feels so right, know that your heart will never lead you astray. With love as the guiding force, you will emerge through the discomfort and feel the harmony in the process. It’s such a beautiful thing.
Image found here.